I’ve Used that Excuse!!

8 Oct

You know how you always have that one class that you just can’t stand?  The professor has now changed the rules on our research paper three times, gone back on what they said before, and assigned extra work, emailed us for meetings the night before. Then last week she/he calls us in for a “cannot miss”/”must-be-there”/”amazing-opportunity” to hear a guy speak in class and spent the entire last half of it explaining to him how they doubt everything he says because the prof. can name a small town in Missouri that doesn’t match his general conclusion.  0_0 So, I of course do NOT want to go to class tomorrow.  Do you think one of these excuses will get me out?

“I cannot go to school today”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox.

 

And there’s one more – that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
It might be the instamatic flu.

 

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in.

My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There’s a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is …
What? What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is ………….. Saturday?

G’bye, I’m going out to play!” 

**Shel Silverstein

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