Tag Archives: Humor

#StudyAbroad – UK Grades are WEIRD!

14 Aug

Distracted #Cooking!

13 Aug

Lol ๐Ÿ˜› Decided to make my mom a treat the other day – #NoBake Oatmeal Chocolate Cookies.

To be fair to myself, I was also baking #stuffedpeppers, answering student messages, and finishing a major project for my MSc.

anyway, I was already experimenting a bit. No #butter, so I tried #CoconutOil. No #PeanutButter, so I made my own.

Got to taste them and mom’s like ‘these don’t taste right. . . ‘

Me: ‘Better term – They taste #disgusting ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Us: Why ๐Ÿค”

Mom: Did you #cook them to a high enough temperature?๐Ÿ™‚

Me: โ“โ“โ“ They don’t cook, they’re #nobake.

Mom: ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ™„

Me: Wait. . . . ‘checks recipe’ Well *&%$.

Hahahaha! They were supposed to be boiled, and I didn’t cook them at all. No wonder they were #terrible #spititout

#Starbucks likes to surprise me

12 Aug

#Warning! – #Fire is Hot!

17 Jul

But! How else do I warm it up after I put it in the freezer to cool off?

12 Jun
OMG this week is confusing ๐Ÿ˜‚
There are about 28 sophomores re-taking economics this semester. The school has changed our schedule for this week 4 times now.
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There are also about 4 of them failing the class right now. I am setting up one-on-one meetings with them.
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Problem: They call meetings ‘classes’ — So my conversations go something like this:ย 
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Me: Hey darling, we have class at 8:30am now.
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Student: So I should come to your office then?
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Me: No, that is still the same. This is class with your friends.
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Student: Oh. . . .
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Me: Hey darlin, our class was changed to 7:00pm so we need to rearrange our meeting to another time.
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Student 2: So. . . . I don’t have class at 7:00.
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Me: No, you do have class at 7:00. But we don’t have our meeting.
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Student 2: Oh, I will come to your office at 7:00.
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Me: ๐Ÿ˜… No. . . that’s the class with your friends.
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Student 2: -_-ย  ย 
Me: . . . . . Guess what, Class is now moved to 3:30pm. . . . . So we need to move our meeting and the class.ย 
Student 3: (sobbing face).
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Me: This is so confusing. . . .
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If you like this, and want to see some more Teaching Funnies, check out my Facebook Page —ย Foreign Academics

The End of the Future — When You’re a student anyway

15 May
Supposed to meet a student today to talk about how to study for the final (he had a hard time on the middle exam). Super easy.
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Student — 26 messages including 14 horror faces ๐Ÿ˜ฑ 9 sobbing faces ๐Ÿ˜ญ and 3 weeping piggies.
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Me — Darlin! Are you okay? Is the world over? Has life ended?!?
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Student — TEACHER! (more sobbing faces) . . . My building had no power (true). My phone died and I didn’t get the alarm. I went to sleep and I forgot our meeting! Will I pass the test!?! Will I fail!?! Dear teacher, what should I do! (Another weeping piggy).
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Me — Darlin — no fears, there’s this awesome fun word called RESCHEDULING!
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Student — ๐Ÿ˜ฎWow! We can do that?
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Me — Sweetheart, I am Queen Olivia of the Economics classroom known as Olivia Country. There is nothing I can’t do ๐Ÿ˜Ž Mwahahahahaha I am powerful! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ
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Teaching — the power is addicting. Also, they are calling me Queen Olivia now because we keep talking about Olivia Country in economics ๐Ÿ˜…

The #Royalty is here! Now go away. . . . (#Teaching humor)

15 Apr

My class roster: Duke, King, Noble, Catherine, Peter, Ivan, Henry, Harry, Elizabeth, Helen, Kate, William, John, Robert, James, Solomon, David

Me : Now that the royalty has all arrived. . . Let’s talk about why Feudalism is a terrible system.ย 

safe_image

#Teacher Life ๐Ÿ˜‚

9 Apr

75% of a #teachers job is bribing other teachers to do something ๐Ÿ˜‚ Come to #education – You’ll work to death, but have an abundance of cookie bribes!

#Facepalm #Ditz #Dingbats!

5 Mar

I am so Happy ๐Ÿ˜‚ ‘Dingbats’ is an official ‘symbol’ category on #Kingsoft #WPS . . . . So from now on, Whenever I think someone’s being an idiot, I could stick random secret ‘dingbat’ symbols in my messages. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜†

Vote Sugar for Participation!

26 Dec
Me: Your assignment is NOT a presentation — you are supposed to lead a class discussion.
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Student: ย I don’t understand.
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Me: You ask the class questions and get them to participate and talk. ๐Ÿ˜
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Student: ย Our grade means the class has to TALK to us? But teacher, this is not the China way. Maybe we do not like to talk in class. Maybe we will all have a very bad grade.
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Me (in my mind): Welcome to the life of the laowai laoshi (foreign teacher) and the struggle for participation!
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Me (in reality): You can do this. Maybe call on people one by one. Or ask your friends to help you. Or offer the first person to talk candy.
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Student: . . . . . . .ย ๐Ÿ˜‘
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WeChat 5 minutes later . . . . “You may use every way to force your classmates to work for you. Teacher Olivia recommends sugar.”
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Me: Bwahahahahahahahaha . . . Behold, the power of sugar! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿก๐Ÿจ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿฐ๐ŸŽ‚๐Ÿช๐Ÿฉ
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