Funny Things I Love About Asian Dramas

Random collection of funny things I love about Asian Dramas:

That their plots can end up so intricate that they need maps.

Seriously, an honest-to-God sample plot might read:

“Instead of a love triangle, we bring you the love hexagon where two people are murderers (of each other’s parents, though they don’t know that), one is just coming back from America after being falsely accused of the others’ crimes, two girls are sisters but love the same man even though two other men love them better because that one man loves the girl who married his best friend for his money . . . . Oh and there is golden treasure from the ancient Joseon period hidden in a haunted well and protected by a bad guy who knows some badass kungfu and is protected by the mayor.”

The fact that only really evil people or really cool people who studied in America (or just abroad) bring out guns.

Someone brings out a gun and everyone freezes in shock ~ apparently only trigger-happy American-trained people would ever bring a gun to the knife/pipe/bomb/chemical weapon fights that they usually have in the shows. There are two reactions: “Soooo Cool!” or “Do you want to die? Why would you even pack that!?! We’re all going to die!” The number of times I’ve watched a crime drama where all the police run out to a terrorist event with a baton and knife, but NO GUN, amuses me. And the really cool stars don’t need a gun at all. Apparently, it’s still more respected to fight mano-o-mano there.

The Fact that Everyone is Remarkably Oblivious To People Tailing Them.

It doesn’t matter if you are a bad guy or a good guy, no one notices people tailing them. Driving right on my bumper in a giant yellow/orange van with ginormous logos on the side? Don’t see you. Sitting on my porch under a blue umbrella when I walk up into my house? Don’t see you. Wearing a white suit in a dark place hiding behind a skinny pole? Don’t see you. Standing creepily right behind me in the dark glaring? Don’t see you. Walking two feet behind me down seven different streets wearing a purple dress with giant orange polka dots? Don’t see you. It’s like watching a baby hide their face but leave everything else exposed – except the adult actually can’t see them!

How you can see their breath in summer-setting dramas.

This has been mentioned by others, but I still laugh every time I see a character’s breath when he is supposedly living in 100+ degree temperatures. Happens less now than it used to, but still just as hilarious.

Their random use of cartoon animations in live action dramas.

You are going along, watching the people traipse about when the main star enters. He is hot, dashing, and the girl sees stars. . . . Literally, yellow cartoon stars appear. Then there is the moment when the guy just got caught lying about whether or not he ate all the soup, and he starts sweating . . . in big cartoon drops. And I just can’t get past the big cartoon eyes that they use to replicate puppy-dog eyes. They get to me every time – reason #5238 that I can’t live in an Asian Drama world. 😦

Their Love of all Things Fluffy

Usually this brings forth more of the aaawwweeee factor, but every now and then a really arrogant stud-muffin gets enraptured with fluff ~ and you kind of die inside. Everything from puppies and kittens to stuffed rabbits and heffalumps – they capture the sweetness of our favorite characters. My favorite is when those people too introverted to talk to a normal human being suddenly turn into chatty-cathy with a stuffed piglet. Or when they beat them up, but feel bad because of the sad “fluffy” eyes. . . so cute it deserves three photos!

Last but not least, the fact that no “dashing” male star can be bad at any talent.

Okay, they might suffer from a few personality quirks, but in general the male stars rock just about every school subject and charm requirement. They don’t just do basketball, they are the leading soccer player, archer, pool shooter, and swimmer in the school too. They aren’t just brilliant doctors, they are wanted by every hospital known to man and have solved cancer and aids to boot. They don’t just excel at tennis and science, they also can exactly replicate classical Rembrandt and modern Picassos to a perfection. Seriously, it’s amazing that there can be two in the same country if they are all number one at everything. Bout the only thing they suck at is getting the girl they like to trust that they love her (once they realize they do).