Why yes, older woman in the Orange shirt and Brown coat at the Coralville Mall (Coralville, IA), I do appreciate your going from fifth in line to first by deliberately bypassing everyone else. Totally understandable! And really, you accomplished so much with that move. I mean, you saved yourself a 15 minute wait by merely increasing everyone else’s by five minutes each. Pbhft, Hardly any cost whatsoever. In fact, you accomplished so much more than just enraging an entire crowd of people.
You’ve shown the children with their mom at the front of the line the importance of shoving others out of your way when you want something. Naturally, all those lessons about respecting your elders came in handy here; they really got to see an example of how they should live their lives when they’re your age. Of course, they’ll get in trouble at school when they copy your example, and, well, none of their friends are going to appreciate that. And well, their example to the other kids will lead to a new scene in 15 years where we have five people fighting and shoving over who goes first instead of a line at all. But that’s nothing! You showed them the best way to get what they want when they want it. It’ll definitely help them in life.
Because really, your actions today were a shining way of encouraging and further developing the modern culture of “me, Me, ME!” Nothing is more self-centered or self-absorbed than the person who thinks their time, attention, needs, and desires are more important than any one else’s. And that’s something we should all be contributing to today. Be proud, you have just helped lead the way to a society that focuses even more on themselves all the time. Of course, you’ll be perfectly charming when that teenager who was second in line here later decides to stop his car right behind yours for 20 minutes while waiting for a pick-up regardless of the fact that you were backing out. I mean, he’s just following your example so you can hardly complain. Nor will you say anything when the two young women who were third push themselves in front of you at the grocery store because they have a movie to catch. I mean, of course if your needs are so important, so are theirs. I’m not really sure how you’ll handle it when the guy who was fourth gets in front of you to fill up his drinks, but I’m guessing it’ll be totally fine.
On yet an even grander scale, you showed us an amazing sign of what humankind can do when it sets a goal. I mean, the ancient Egyptians built the pyramids which symbolize the power of our ability to utilize math. The ancient Romans built an excellent legal system that the world still holds up as exemplary today. The ancient Chinese developed Buddhism, which embodies love, hope, and the potential of human spirit. But for modern Americans, we’ve got you–and all your other line-butter friends– to destroy the entire concept of working together, respecting others, valuing everyone’s needs equally, indeed most of what a civil society is built on. You even managed to unify a Latino woman, African-American man, and two Caucasian women in their disgust with your behavior. Yep, you’re a real benefit to our society. Bravo!
Deceptively Blonde 