Tag Archives: Teaching Funny

Cheating #China Style

19 Apr



Cheating China style 😰  So annoying.  No notes mid-term exam, somehow they had magic notes under the keyboard.  ‘Teacher, It’s not mine. I Don’t know where it came from!’

Funny. . . You’re the only one in this seat. 😑  How do they even read a font that small?  

Final’s Week Conversations

28 Dec
Image result for tired teacher
Student 1– “How many chances do I have to do the Final Exam.”
Me — “One” ?!?
Student 1– “But I want to go to graduate school!”
Me — “Then you sure as heck better be able to do this test in one try or graduate school is probably a no-go!”
Student 1– “0_0 oh, I know.”
Me — “Then why oh why did you ask?!?!?!”
Image result for tired teacher
Β 
Student 2– “Teacher, some people in my class have very bad grades. Can we fix it.”
Me — A) this is finals week for the semester, so no. B) your grades are bad because you cheated on 2 assignments, failed to complete 4 assignments, gave me one-word answers for other assignments, and skipped class 4+ times. So don’t you think you should have worried about your grades then instead of now? — And you are the class leader — you should have led your class better, instead your group has the worst participation.”
Student 2 — “Oh. Ok teacher. I know.”
Me — “Then why oh why oh why did you ask?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Next Week or the Other Next Week?

20 Oct

Sigh. . . . ESL problems. Spent twenty minutes tonight in a disagreement with a student over the date of the mid-term. I stupidly stated the exam would be “next week on Thursday.” – – – “But teacher, we don’t have class on Thursday next week. . . ” I’m sorry??? “We have class on Thursday this coming week. Then the next week no class on Thursday.” It’s the little things in ESL teaching – like trying to explain what precisely “this week” and “next week” mean. They always think “next week” means the “week after next.” Confusing? I know, me too πŸ˜› The life I live!

My Students Precisely

21 Sep

Smart Elephant

14 Jun

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😁 My student kept mixing up element and elephant today. “The first elephant says you must obey universal laws . . . ” “The second elephant means do not take advantage .. . ” Sounded like one of those “what does my dream mean” conversations :p

Life in China ~ Bring It (Managerial Econ Style)

22 Mar

πŸ˜›Β I am teaching a class of students whose English is particularly bad, but I had them last semester too and we have been moving along. It takes translating every couple of words (money, war, economy, market, cash, coin, card) to communicate, but we were happy with our steady if slow paceΒ πŸ™‚Β 

Then Today, I had two new students join the class from Int’l Trade 1 (the best students, include one who has excellent English). At the beginning, I asked the students to translate one of the words as usual. Normally it takes us a bit to look it up and figure out a Chinglish version. Now, immediately the new boy spits out verbatim the precise 3 sentence long definition from the textbook by memory. 0_0 It was the funniest thing. The entire class stopped, turned and stared at him. One girl threw up her hands, another started groaning. The entire group almost in unison went “ooooohhhhhh” and one actually WHIMPERED. LOL. He jerked back and looked around. After that he figured out pretty quick the others weren’t at that level. πŸ™‚Β Seriously, we’re working at “this is called demand” level and he’s off on QD = a + bP + cT + . . . . level. Boom. . . mic dropped, bar raised.

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