Tag Archives: Humor

FB AutoTag Fail

25 Mar

Trying to say Happy Birthday to someone. FB autocorrects to automatically tag the band “The Birthday Massacre” . . . Uh, no.

VS

 

 

I’m Number 3, with a Close 8!

20 Mar

 

 

 

Look at these images and choose your favorite. Then read down to find your number and see what it says about you! Mine was actually pretty accurate 🙂  Taken from the FB page of Andreea Zoia

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Personality Test Results:

1. Freedom loving 
Freedom is important to you – nothing is worse than when you feel tied down. You may find you move jobs or location frequently because the idea of staying in one place too long unnerves you. The same can apply to relationships! People see you as fun loving, and you are. You attempt to enjoy life to the full, in accordance with the motto: “You only live once.” You tend to attract less energetic people as friends or partners, like moths to a flame, they see you as the light. Careful they don’t drain you! You are very curious and open about everything new and thrive on change. Quite simply, you are a breath of fresh air.

2. Independent and unconventional
Your lifestyle is highly individualistic. You do not follow the crowd, on the contrary, you seek to live according to your own ideas and convictions, even if this means swimming against the tide. You need a free and unattached life that allows you to determine your own course. You have an artistic bent in your work or leisure activities. Your urge for freedom sometimes causes you to do exactly the opposite of what is expected of you. You are rather unique, so don’t bother comparing yourself to anyone else. Live life your way.

3. Sensitive and reflective
You are comfortable spending hours alone with your thoughts and rarely become bored. You dislike superficiality; you’d rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. Your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquillity and harmony that you require. You love deeply but if someone betrays you it is next to impossible to forgive. You are an old soul, someone who has lived many times before and has seen it all. All you crave now is simplicity and the chance to focus your attention on a meaningful existence. 

4. Down to earth and charming
You have a natural authentic charm, what you see is what you get. People admire you because you seem so ‘together’. You have both feet planted firmly on the ground and they can depend on you. While others complicate their life with ifs and buts, you know your own mind. You provide security and space to those close to you. You are a rock, and although others may not tell you, you are the sun around which they revolve. You dislike superficiality and tend to be skeptical toward the whims of trends. Where others crash and burn, you motor on, quietly achieving all you need to do. You are a woman (or man) of substance.

5. Professional and self-assured
You take charge of your life, and place less faith in your luck and more in your own actions. You solve problems in a practical, uncomplicated manner. You take a realistic view of things in your daily life and tackle them without fuss. You are given responsibility at work, because people know that you can be depended upon. You project self-assurance to others. You are a born leader and organiser. Although you work well in a team, ideally you should be the one giving the orders. After all, you are usually right! 

6. Peaceful and timeless
You are easy-going yet discreet. There is a timeless elegance about you (think Audrey Hepburn). You make friends effortlessly, yet enjoy your privacy and independence. You like to get away from it all and be alone from time to time to contemplate the meaning of life. You need space, so you escape to hideaways, but you are not a loner. You are at peace with yourself and the world, and you appreciate life and what this world has to offer. You have a strong life purpose and when you discover it, you project your personal brand of magic on the world.

7. Cultured and classical
Cultured and sophisticated you value the things money can’t necessarily buy – good conversation, original ideas, music and the arts. You have a fair mind and can see both sides of an argument. You rarely let emotions get the better of you, preferring to assess situations rationally. Calm, logical and yet compassionate and kind. You have ‘old-fashioned’ principles, which at heart make you a real lady (or gentleman). A timeless, vintage classic – the sort of person everyone secretly admires and likes to copy. 

8. Sensitive and spiritual
You are a highly sensitive and spiritual person. You refuse to see life only from a rational view point. You have great intuition and trust your feelings. You must have dreams to aspire towards or you won’t feel happy. You like to improve yourself, and in so doing make a difference in the world – even if only in little ways. You find it hard to understand people who are only guided rationality. You form true relationships with open souls, people who know there is more to life than we can touch, see or hear. Your psychic sense is highly evolved, trust it and work with it.

9. Dynamic and sparkly
You are a mover and a shaker! You are willing to take risks in return for interesting and varied work. Routine tends to have a paralysing effect on you. Being stuck behind a desk 9-5 would destroy your soul and enthusiasm for life. You need to be given the chance to express your ideas and put them into action. You have a rainbow personality, and can cheer others up, even on the gloomiest of days. If you ever feel you have lost your sparkle it is because the situation you find yourself in is not right for you. Follow your enthusiasm, even if it means you chop and change for years. The journey is as important as the destination.

A Modest Proposal

17 Mar

Don’t forget the footnotes; those are sometimes the best part!

After reading this, in case you are feeling somewhat hysterical and preparing to march upon Ireland immediately, please read the end notation:

“For Preventing the Children of Poor People
in Ireland, from Being a Burden on Their Parents
or Country, and for Making Them
Beneficial to the Public” Continue reading

2015 Law School Rankings

11 Mar

The Rankings are out! 

US News & World Report has released it’s official list of the US Law Schools ranked in order.  . . Iowa made it out at #27 — a few spots lower than when I entered.  In-State Tuition is $28,047; while Out-Of-State tuition is $49,025.  There are currently 411 students at the school–I was one of those 411!  😛 I made it into a statistic.

All I care about though is that we made it out on top of Fordham.  I studied over the summer with those students, and got a ton of sh** about how “UIowa” was just less than and that I would never be able to work outside of the Mid-West.  Honest to God, one girl looked at me snidely in front of our internship boss (Samsung Head of Department) at a fish dinner and comments, “Well, you’re from like Iowa. . . . I mean, you probably don’t know what a lobster is.  You all eat like raccoon, right?  Lobster is this kind of fish from the sea.”  I kid you not. . . . I just about smacked her.   Anyway, YAY! we beat them in the rankings!

 

 

Spanish Slang Is Above My Pay Level :(

4 Mar

Today’s lesson in the course of the law. . . Apparently some Spanish slang involves substituting “qu” with “K” and “ll” with “y” and dropping all silent letters. . . Makes for an interesting translation! Doesn’t help when there is no punctuation or accent marks. 

Suddenly, “Aquí hablamos español” is “aki ablamos espanol.” 

Also, Google Translate is trying to say the words aren’t Spanish; they are a mixture of “Hatian Creole,” “Dutch,” and “Galician” Shows what it knows.

Stupid Taxes

28 Feb

That moment when you’re almost finished with your taxes, only to realize that what you thought was the T-1098 form from your University for tuition was actually a letter requesting your approval so they could then send you the T-1098 form. . .  😦

Pet Peeve: Bathroom Stall Doors

28 Feb

Genuine Pet Peeve: Bathroom Stall Doors that are open inwards and are too big.   No matter how skinny you are, you have to straddle the toilet to open the door. 

The Rebellion of Lawrence

22 Feb

Ladies and Gentlemen, I regret to inform you all that Lawrence the Laptop has decided to go on walkabout. Yes, he is laying down on the job, taking an unapproved leave of absence in his duties.  This afternoon, as I was researching for the major 3 day exam starting Monday,  Lawrence staged a protest and refused to read his hard drive. That’s right, he quit on me!  The nerve! The scum!  

Naturally, the earliest he can be fixed is after my exam, and I’m going to lose everything.  So I want you to join me today in the snubbing of my old friend.  I refuse to even look at him right now.  Forcing me to resort to poor Dollie the Dell, tired in her old age and maintaining a battery of O seconds (take the plug out of her and she drops dead).  Making me bring the dear out of retirement. I am seriously displeased.  

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Me at all Sporting Events

2 Feb

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Current Weather In the USA

29 Jan

Lol, I’m in the “How Do You People Live Like This” region–and truly, I still don’t get it.